Friday, August 15, 2014

New obsession

For the past few months I was busy mentally and physically (take that look away from your face!!!) work wise as well as personal life wise. And in midst of my "growing" career and family life I got sucked in reading, awk!!! not my usual historical romance but get this paranormal romance! One genre I swore I would never touch with a bar pole let alone put my precious eye time reading the blurb of the book. It was something I was totally against- no way was I able to get my head into shape shifting people ..vampires.... or were-wolves or witches for that matter. They should stay where they are...in the minds of equally "messed-up in the head" writers. Weird people likes weird books. And, thank you but I aint one of 'em. I like straight romance books albeit the historical kind where More tea, my Lord! sounds darn sexy when said by a woman on the verge of strangle-hood with all those petticoats and corset. Yea to each his own.

So did the genre hit me or what...I don't think I am ever going to be same again. I am seriously thinking a vampire bite might be mighty sexy or I might swoon if I come across one sexy vampire like the ones I have been coming across in my books. Oh boy. Or shape-shifting were wolves can keep me warm any time ....(well that was written almost few months back) .....

since then a lot happened in my life!! Serious!!! An alien landed in my backyard *cackling wildly* and I rushed to save the world. or maybe like I gave birth to another child!! and I moved. Yep!! amongst all the reading I was doing and getting big on my career I did all that.

And now, I am more or less getting into certain life rhythm which means I am back doing what I like most ...reading!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Wonder what is its name?

Well I hope this is something rare...(kidding)...Since I have nothing to publish and I found this fascinating butterfly in ..err...normal position I suppose ..here they are...!!!



Monday, October 10, 2011

Learning unconditionality

When you are married with someone for a long time you get into a pattern of life. A rhythm you follow everyday and you get so stuck to that routine that you hate anyone breaking it. You loose the flexibility nature of accepting suprises. I realised that I have compartmentalized everyone and couldnt accept if anyone moved away from what I thought they should be doing. Like my husband. I couldnt accept why he suddenly developed a habit of not hearing me when I wanted to talk or work out a problem. Why I felt like he was not there when I needed him the most, or when I thought I needed him the most.And it irritated me to no end when he threw his shoe everywhere and later made me running here and there looking for the other shoe. I wanted my son to do exactly what I wanted him to do and if he wanted to act like any normal three year boy, I will be screaming his name like a fish seller. Now, I don't know how exactly a fishwife sounds like having never been to fish market but the ones that I have been to are mostly male and they will shout at you to buy their wares if they see you are looking their way.

One day it hit me. I was working up a steam. We had gone to the town, yea the town where I still see the sad donkey. It was suppose to be an half hour outing, which was slowly turning to three hours. Our son was hyperactive, I was tired after running after him and nagging him not to do this, not to touch that, leave that alone, come here, blah..blah. My husband had grown roots and was stuck on that damn pathetic chair and laughing with his friends like as if they have never met and not moving an inch to go home. I was getting mad and was getting close to tears. I thought I am going to leave this ass, I am moving back to Thimphu, I am not cut out for this...I deserve better.I am going to take our son and leave this ass to this pathetic place and then he will realise my worth. Snif..snif..snif...poor me. Then it hit me. My feelings was becoming conditional and was not willing to accept someone as they were. My husband was always the same. He loves his friend and sometimes I feel more than me but thats alright. I had known that. And my son..I was becoming so rigid that his creative nature was getting strangled by my control and he was rebelling in his own way. And myself..I was getting worked up to heartburn by my ownself. I was pushing myself to grave early with all that negative feelings and anger. I cooled down-somewhat. Its hard to accept that maybe you yourself might be your own problem. My pride hurt the most. But I did cool down and no I didnt suddenly turn to angel of love and happiness. I was still gloomy with a bruised ego. But I stopped controlling my son and let him run around with his friends, playing in the mud (it had rained) and eventually sat near my ass of a husband and enjoyed somewhat to the conversation that was going around. Then my husband looked at my face and must have seen my poor me face and said ok lets go home, our son might be tired. So we all went home one small happy family with my bruised ego smiling weakly.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The new dynamic look

The new changes made to the blog look is sleek, easy to navigate and pretty enough to look at. I wish I had wonderful blog with pictures and writing but despite my poor content of my blog, I must say its looking professional sort. Anyone who has photo blog or recipe blog will look nice with different views the new dynamic view the blogger.com has introduced. I can't wait for some of the blogs to change their look to dynamic view. Here is the snapshot of Yeshey-the photographer's blog…looks pretty cool.

image

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Murder in the fish bowl

Something got in my head that my lil’ boy need a friend. And of course should start learning about responsibility. At this young age. Must be all the books that I have read and the experience that I have encountered got in my head. I don’t know what really got in my head. So we went to Siliguri on a weekend outing and watch a movie. I am not the adventurous kind or a fun kind no matter what I say. But there I was along with my kid and my sis-in-laws to watch a movie of all the things. Of course we made a stop at Water Kingdom which I must say was a good place for children to play in the water. Then I bought five fishes – four goldfishes and one ugly fish the seller claimed it cleans the tank. I told my son, these are your friend and you should take care of them. Mother pearl of wisdom I thought. And the fishes arrived all fine back home along with their grand new home – a big bowl and colored pebbles.
goldfish
They looked so grand, nice and beautiful. Today is their fourth day here in Bhutan. They are all dead. How and why they are dead is a mystery I am yet to understand. It looked like a murder in a fish bowl with all of them dying one after another. A mass killing. So much so about having fishes as a friend. Should have stuck to dog but I hate dogs in the house or cat. Maybe I should get a turtle for him. Well no matter. Now I am stuck with a big empty fish bowl and lot of colored pebbles. Seriously, I should have done lot of research and then should have bought the fish. And I did everything that I was advised to do when I bought the fish but it must be something I did wrong. Maybe the water? or too much oxygen? or temperature? Or something…….
 Dead Goldfish

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

To Thimphu or not to Thimphu

I don't like Thimphu city very much. I enjoy going to Thimphu once in a while and meeting up with my family or catching up with my friends but I don't like the pretentious air, the over crowded with bigger than your pocket vehicles and most of all I don't like how the capital city has moved to become very dirty and dusty. Capital city of Bhutan is heavily populated with civil servants but everyone seems have this artificial income that I fear will soon burst like the bubble. Adam Smith said the economy of the market should be let to the forces of the free hand of the market. The free hand that seems to in equilibrium of demand and supply is the imported goods. No complains here. I have learn to savor the flavor of sea-weed. I love it. And do you know the one made in olive oil is bit expensive? Or the the noodles from Korea where I pay another atrocious price of Nu.80 per packet where as waiwai or maggie cost you like Nu.10 or 12 per packet. Sigh!! I love eating out too. I love spaghetti or tom yum soup. I love cakes...ohhhh yes...those delicious yummy creamy cakes. And I like buying products with strange language where I can't understand what its is or can't see the expiry date. For all I care, it might be saying you will die as soon as you open the packet or this product was manufactured during the dinosaur time. These are the few things I like in capital. Otherwise, I like Samtse despite its heat and people working at the snail pace or getting angry at some Indian people I think is ripping off me. In terms of shopping Thimphu is over priced place. I wait for my office to send me to one of the trainings that comes by...like in maybe five years or so. Hehehe. Face it. Trainings are always grabbed by the Thimphulites. Whereas the people serving outside Thimphu, Paro and Phuentsholing are often ignored or simply forgotten. And I find that capital city of Bhutan is become very ugly and unplanned city. Look at Changjiji and Babesa area. It could have been a very planned area than the Thimphu town.But when you face through the national highway (??), the roads are not properly planned, some of the buildings are too close and the construction taking place looks too haphazard. If properly planed Changjiji could have been properly planned area and maybe could have looked beautiful that befit the name as capital.

Anyways, Thimphu city- the place where I grew up and have family living there and somehow I just simply can’t muster the feeling of appreciation is a place I have to eventually move to. I often used to want to get away from the mountains. Sometimes, I thought I will never get away from the mountains. The beautiful mountains used to feel like prison and I wanted to see plains. You know..just look out and try to see to make out the horizon. Sometimes, when I go to Gomtu, I will go to the lhakhang and just gaze out. Its on a small hill and when you look out, you will see plain land sprawling in front of you. And you take a deep breath and think yes this is space- no boundaries. Just you, sky, land and the feeling of the presence of now. Now the disadvantage of staying in place like the least developed Samtse is education for your child. Everyone is now saying I should send my lil' darling to Thimphu for his education. Thimphu has the best daycare school, Thimphu has the best educated teachers, Thimphu has this and that...yea yea I get it. As a parent I am responsible to give the best that I can provide. But, as a family we have only short time to stay together. When he is 18 or 16 or 13 he will no longer need me. He will become independent and would want the space. And I feel till he is independent we should stay as family and share the joys of him growing up in front of my eyes. So the case now is - I should get a transfer. The problem of transfer? No one wants to move their ass from Thimphu. They just want to stay in Thimphu. And once I move to Thimphu, I need the government to pay half of the house rent because how on earth am I going to afford all those imported stuffs, eh?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

One of those days

 Its one of those days when your baby decides not to go to his daycare school after traveling fifteen minutes to reach the school, when your fridge cooling system dies down in middle of summer, when you are waiting for more than one month for ATM card and find yourself lining up along with all the people sweating and smelling away in glory because its the end of the month and just as your turn comes the banking core system (whatever fancy name they give) gives up. Its one of those days when you simply want a quite moment of your own and your baby decides to play car and dinosaur with you. Or Ben10. Being spider monkey is not the most exciting picture.


Or dinosaur. Or humongousaur









Humongousaur
At this rate I am pretty much turning into real dinosaur and bite the heads off of anyone approaching my territory. I am tired, I need rest, I need my fridge back, I need my baby to go quietly to school. I need.....to breathhhhhhh, get my groove back and be super mom again.Sometimes I think..comeon just lil kid...you can handle it. Be cool. You are the grown up here. Show some authority. Then I go home and well ..I am back to being the Kevin Levin (thats Ben10's friend or something) or brainstorm (another Ben10 alien character) or whatever he chooses to make me into while he the Ben10 decides to squash me and fight me. If I don't pretend to die he will cry me off to death. Ah...the quality moment with your child. And here I had a rosy picture of me reading him books and teaching him how to write and he like a good boy doing what I wanted him to do. So much so for rosy picture and catching up with my reading.And that reminds me the evolution of entertainment. I didnt know about alien till I started reading books about human race and watching Spielberg's E.T. That was most over hyped movie there ever was. I dont see the big deal in that movie nor Star wars...but guess thats because I grew up in different parts of earth and face it that was globalization taking place. Anyways, my highlights of my younger days was watching tom and jerry (that is classic and still is..though now people have started questioning the violence shown there). And of course, how can one can forget He-Man, the master of universe, eh? All that blond hair and brawn..and riding on the tiger fighting to defend the Castle of Gray skull...  
The He-Man
He-Man - love the hair..sigh!!


Pretty neat...huh?
I have the POWER!!!!












Now, because of Ben10 my lil' hero knows about alien and spaceship. Edge! My son is brilliant. Now only if he can write his A's properly. Somehow, he still thinks A should be inverted. There is a point there since when I am teaching him he is opposite to me so A is inverted to him...:) Oppss...silly mummy, eh? However, after  one inverted A, its back to being humongousaur. Or as he says - Its hero time.
Calvin & Hobbes